Breast Milk, Formula, and Giving Yourself Permission to Choose

Breastfeeding can be hard

If you're expecting a baby, you have probably already heard a lot about breastfeeding. You may have been told about the benefits of breast milk, seen beautiful pictures of breastfeeding mothers, or watched movies where breastfeeding seems to happen effortlessly.

But here's something I want every new mother to hear:

Breastfeeding is hard.

It can be beautiful and rewarding, but it can also be challenging, exhausting, painful, and emotional. Sometimes breastfeeding doesn't go the way you expected. Sometimes your baby has difficulty latching. Sometimes you don't produce enough milk. Sometimes you have medical reasons that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible. And sometimes, you simply don't want to breastfeed.

And that's okay.

There are many ways to feed a baby

Breast milk absolutely has benefits that formula cannot completely replicate. It contains antibodies and other components that can support your baby's developing immune system and provide nutrition specifically suited to infants. For mothers who choose to breastfeed and are able to do so, more power to you.

But for mothers who choose formula, more power to you, too.

Formula is a safe, nutritious way to feed your baby. It provides the calories and nutrients your baby needs to grow and thrive, and it allows families to feed their babies in a way that works for them.

The most important thing is that your baby is fed, growing, and cared for—and that you are supported along the way.

I also want to remind parents that breastfeeding does not always have to be an all-or-nothing decision. Some families breastfeed exclusively. Some combine breast milk and formula. Some pump and provide breast milk by bottle. Some use donor milk when available. Others use formula from the very beginning.

There are many ways to feed a baby, and there is no single right path for every family.

What matters is finding the approach that works for you and your baby.

Your baby. Your body. Your family.

Unfortunately, new mothers can feel an enormous amount of pressure from the people around them. Family members, friends, social media, and even strangers may have strong opinions about how you should feed your baby.

But this is your baby. Your body. Your family.

Don't let someone else's expectations determine what is right for you.

If you want to breastfeed and you're able to do so, I support you.

If you want to breastfeed but are struggling, I support you.

If you want to combine breastfeeding and formula, I support you.

If you choose formula, I support you.

You are not a failure if breastfeeding doesn't work out the way you hoped. You are not a failure if you can't breastfeed. And you are certainly not a failure if you don't want to breastfeed.

Your worth as a mother is not measured by how you feed your baby.

Choose what is right for your family

My hope is that we can create a culture where mothers support one another instead of judging one another. We should celebrate the mother who breastfeeds just as enthusiastically as we support the mother who chooses formula.

So, if you're expecting a baby, educate yourself. Talk with your pediatrician. Meet with a lactation consultant if you want breastfeeding support. Learn about your options.

And then make the decision that is right for you, your baby, and your family.

Because at the end of the day, your baby doesn't need a perfect mother.

Your baby needs a mother who is supported, cared for, and able to be present for them.

Feed your baby. Love your baby. Take care of yourself.

And whatever path you choose, know that you are doing your best—and that is more than enough.